


i'm fine, i promise.

by shouyox



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Violence, Slow Burn, Therapist Iwaizumi, platonic oisuga
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 14:23:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13953474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouyox/pseuds/shouyox
Summary: oikawa tried to overdose on his 18th birthday,his mother was worried and had him go to a therapist.who just so happened to be iwaizumi hajime.tw; implied self harm, mentions of suicide attempt, and maybe some violence.





	i'm fine, i promise.

**Author's Note:**

> this is heavily inspired by the song Zombie by Call Me Karizma and a south park fic i read recently.
> 
> this will be my first 1st person fic in a while, please give me some time to adjust back.
> 
> characters are ooc. this is short, but ill try nd update soon. this is sort of just a teaser anyways.
> 
> ill try my best.

“How are you today, Tooru?” Iwaizumi said, staring me right in the eyes.

He always asks this. Every time I come in. If not, it’s something in the same vicinity. ‘ _How are you feeling, Tooru_?’ ‘ _Are you adjusting well, Tooru_?’ ‘ _What’s today like, Tooru_?’. As if I’d answer honestly.

“Fine.”

I really am not fine. For starters, I can’t remember the last time I ate, was it Tuesday? It’s Friday now, so… Three days. Man am I hungry. Plus, I fell on my way here which really triggered something inside me, if I wasn’t more worried about how my mom would react, I probably would’ve just stayed on the ground and starved to death. “Tell me about your day.”

He asks the weirdest things, isn’t a therapist supposed to ask how the medication is working, or how many times I’ve thought of suicide or some shit? Not just how my day was or basic stuff like that.

“I woke up. Stayed in bed for an hour or two. Mom asked me to get up and get dressed, so I did. I texted a friend. Walked here. That’s about it.”

“What’d you and your friend talk about?”

“Is this really necessary?”

“I want to know how you act in front of friends. Or, in this case, via text.”

I sigh loudly. “He asked where I’ve been since I’ve been skipping practice. I told him that I was just resting my knee, and not to worry. But of course, I sound much happier in my texts, so he didn’t worry a bit.”

“Does it bother you that he didn’t worry?”

“Of course not. I’m the one keeping stuff from him.” I laughed nervously.

“Hmm.”

He only does that ‘Hmm’ thing when he doesn’t believe me, so I’ve already failed today’s goal.

 

* * *

 

Thank god, my mom picks me up after my sessions. If I had to walk home after those exhausting conversations, I’d probably pass out on the sidewalk.

Though, the car rides are undeniably boring and awkward. My mother is a very energetic and happy person, but ever since I tried to kill myself she’s been quiet, like she is stepping on thin ice around me. It doesn’t bother me all that much, to be honest. It did at first, but I sort of realized this is her way of coping with the situation.

“Can you drop me off at Koushi’s, please?”

She looked hesitant, but I smiled softly, convincing her I was alright enough to go to a friend’s. She really does care for me a lot and tries her best to understand me. I wish I was a normal person. I had a normal childhood, why did I turn out this way? I just don’t understand.

“Tell Koushi hello for me!”

I laughed quietly and jumped out the car, waving as I walked up his driveway. I didn’t have to even ring his doorbell, he opened it right away. “Where have you been, Oikawa! I swear, it’s like you fell off the planet!” He pulled me into the house, taking off my scarf and handing me a water. “Now, come on. Let’s talk.”

I followed him to his room and let him plop me onto the ground. “So, what’s really been going on?”

I flinched. He was worried? My act didn’t work? God dammit. “Haha, what do you mean? I told you, my knee was just hurting a bit.” I laughed nervously.

“That’s never bothered you before, you’d go no matter what.”

Why does my best friend have to be so insightful. Shit. “It’s nothing.”

“Bull. Shit.”

“Suga-”

“What’s going on? I’m your best friend, and you can’t even tell me.”

Seeing him so bothered made my heart wince. I sighed loudly. “I’m going to a therapist, that’s all.”

His face fell, and I could already tell, he was pitying me. “No! It’s really nothing, I only see the guy like two times a week or so, it’s really no big deal.”

“Oikawa-”

“Can we drop it please?”

I’d hurt his feelings.

 

* * *

 

 

As I flopped onto my bed, I felt utterly exhausted. Having to talk about my stupid life to a stupid guy I just met a month ago. He knows more about me than I know about me.

And then I was horrible to Koushi, an absolute jerk.

I hate living.

**Author's Note:**

> don't be scared to hmu!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)  
> [Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)  
> [OC Tumblr](https://stunningocs.tumblr.com/)


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